I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
