that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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