I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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