How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
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