walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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