forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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