Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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