he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
