big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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