She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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