I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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