oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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