i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
