Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize