when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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