I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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