I love black thongs
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
BRING THE BAGELS
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
