I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
