she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
