It's Friday. Sex?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
