at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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