why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
