So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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