evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
did i just pee glitter
Randomize
