You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
