I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Dick very happy bro
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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