I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
