like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
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Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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