dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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