lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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