I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
