I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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