I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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