Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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