i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
