I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
