at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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