So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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