Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
