Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
