were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
