youre lurking in front of me
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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