clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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