Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
