yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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