You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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