lets start a swedish sibling band together
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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