she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
