I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
