i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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