Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
We are all done wearing pants today
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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