1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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