We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
