ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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