Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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