We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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