hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
