Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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