You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Randomize
