How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
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Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
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Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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