batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize