I only kidnapped one of them. chill
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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